whose to say when something stops and when it starts? apart from maybe the ref in a sport, or a judge in a trial, or a quiz master in test? OK, so there are absolutes. but who cares about those?
My question was more about personal choices. When to decide something is over. when to put it to rest. and then, Once you have, can it then be dug up and felt again? Would it be the same or does the burying make it something different? What constitutes a new start?
Surely if you bury something there is a reason behind it? So why dig it up??
I once (and only once) buried my smurf collection in the back garden. Try as I might I never found them again! I really wanted too, and boy I looked for them, but I never did find them. Why on earth did bury them to begin with???
I once buried feelings about may pop dying . I’ve rarely gone looking for those, but I know where to find them.
I once loved. In fact, I have a few times. But those feelings are best left buried once finished with. On the rare occasions I gone digging for those I’ve found them to be somewhat incorrect. Remembered wrong, glossed up, not complete.
I have climbed mountains, hiked to areas of natural beauty, camped in the wilderness but memories of those all seem very vague where as at the time they were incredibly meaningful. Now they are just something I’ve done or seen to be talked about raley and boasted about even less.
So, here I am, laying in bed writing this when I ‘should’ be our running a 10k (the year of running and doing!) and I find myself asking “what happened to my new beginning??”
Has it started without me and left me behind? Or did it never actually start?
What happened was I went to the pub! damn it. But it was quite fun. The new start starts tomorrow. honest. I’ll make the May 10k and I’ll beat the time I set in January (1 hour 6 minutes). I will I will I will. You just see if I dont.
For today though, Im going to take my good friend Luke for a trip round town to celebrate his birthday…