It’s terrible to see friends in pain.
I’m not talking about physical pain, I’m talking about psychological pain. Pain over a decision or a circumstance that they are facing that regardless of the advice you give, ultimately only they can decide and that decision will be based on their perception and NOT yours.
Advice is only any good if it is relevant. If you are approaching from a different moralistic point of view or not taking into account the persons feelings/perceptions/experiences then chances are your advice is doomed to fail.
Trying to understand what they are going through, what is important to them, and what they actually want is very important.
However if that conflicts with your own personal morals it can be hard.
Tonight I shed a tear for not knowing how best to advise someone I care great deal about.
I try to be a voice of reason but ultimately I don’t think I gave them the support they were looking for and just possibly, the advice that was best for them.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Alas I don’t have a silver ball.